The Mason jar on
the fading table is full of once hot black tea.
I sit on this chair,
also fading and just as old;
90's green paint, chipped -
bite marks from when I was teething.
Moving my sister's child therapy reports,
internet bills, credit card advertisements,
my father's old grey laptop,
I can see where the polyurethane
is rubbed off.
At the other end,
where my second oldest sister used to sit,
the varnish remains mostly intact;
used now by unsorted mail
and my nephew's soiled clothes
in plastic grocery bags.
I lift up my jar and notice a ring of condensation,
endlessly circling like a small
two dimensional
earth.
I love feedback of any kind - comments, critiques, whatever. Feel free to say something!
I sit on this chair, also fading... I visualize you slumped in the chair you have grown up in (both worn out). The next section I am not sure if you are talking about a desk or still the chair? I get that you are paying bills. Third stanza it sounds like you are talking about a table. I like the concrete imagery -- "bite marks" "varnish remains mostly intact" "unsorted mail". What does the jar represent? Not having money?
ReplyDeleteHi! Thank you for your feedback :D
DeleteYou're right! The beginning is not very clear. The first stanza is talking about the chair. I haven't figured out how to make that clear, without being too wordy. Do you have any suggestions?
I used the jar as a "warm now cold" metaphor for the progress of my family throughout the years. It's a little melodramatic lol